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Tales from The Curator

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Postings: Updated regularly but reliant on speed of painting.

2026 5

Latest posts

King of the Cheese Sandwich

February 13, 2026

Allesandro Porcini's Left Boot

February 02, 2026

Jimmy Nobs and the Authoritarian Naan State

January 24, 2026

Tina cuts Mother Marjoram's hair

January 08, 2026

A Fence That Opens If It Has To

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Meet the Parish Council

VILLAGE NEWS

Get in touch if you'd like to join us on a trip to Leamington Spa to explore it's non-existent Tudor history

The Curator

I am the appointed Curator of Stories, and am currently collecting aural histories, recollections, rumours, and personal accounts from various residents, whatever people happen to mention while the kettle is boiling in The Community Hall, which is in the heart of the village. Please consider this an ongoing archive.

Mrs Nugget

Mrs Nugget owns the Community Hall, (behind the Church) operating primarily from the back room. She keeps everything running, despite occasionally imbibing a sneaky large sherry, which can affect clarity of thought. She identifies as retired, old, female, and always denies falling asleep during Pilates.

Mother Marjoram

Sporting the new hair cut by Tina who has been known to say things like “Trust me” and “It’ll grow out” in the same breath, which should really be a warning

Miss Daffodil Pruett

Often found sitting on the bench outside the post office as she does every Tuesday, pretending to watch pigeons and actually watching everyone. Her smile is tight, her coat is buttoned wrong, and by noon she knows three secrets, two lies, and exactly who is about to regret breakfast.

Jimmy Nobs owner of the local pub

If you wander into Jimmy’s domain hungry for coffee, ready for a latte … be warned, you might end up with something a lot more interesting.

Allesandro Porcini

Allesandro Porcini is Italian and has a longstanding affection for oak trees, heavy rain and appearing precisely when conditions suit him. Generally amiable, occasionally elusive, and not reliably terrestrial in October. Last seen during the Wet Year. The villagers are confused but remain attentive.

Mrs Agnes Root

Mrs Agnes Root spends most of her time in the allotment, digging. She prefers this to talking and is widely considered content

Mr Humphrey Bellweather – Local History Teacher

Mr Bellweather is deeply earnest, mildly theatrical, and firmly convinced that, in a previous life, he was a misunderstood court adviser.

Mr Albert Planter, Farmer

Mr Albert Planter has farmed the land around the village for as long as anyone can remember, and possibly longer than that. He is a man of few words, most of which are delivered in a low mumble that usually translates to “busy” or “no time for nonsense.”

Ms Brunhilda Barfoote

Mr Percival Trotter - Station Master

Privately, he believes the railway is the last true measure of civilisation—and that he is its final guardian.

The Village Church